yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
MIDGETS
????
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
