just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
