capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
