I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
