Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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