if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
