That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
