We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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