Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
