let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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