So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize