Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
