I wish my penis had an off switch
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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