did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
pop tarts are not kleenex
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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