I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize