I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
