I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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