Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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