I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
