We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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