i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
