Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize