Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
