Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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