he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
