exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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