Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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