Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
honey bunches of taint.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
