Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize