I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize