can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
