Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
