loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
