"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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