great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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