Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
