I wanna bring you to show and tell
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
