Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
