Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize