I don't usually arrange sex via text message
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
