i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
