Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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