How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
