You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
