I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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