I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
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