Come see our sink grown plant.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
