my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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