I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Randomize
