No awkward lesbian experiences without me
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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