i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
