the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My cat gives me a boner
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
