i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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