before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
