Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How does one acquire holy water?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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