We need to rekindle our bromance
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
