How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I have post one night stand depression
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