I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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