You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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