have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
