wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
