I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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