is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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