It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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