i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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